A French Lesson

Recently, I read an interesting book by David Sedaris, called ‘Me Talk Pretty One Day’.. In one of the chapter, I found the part very funny in a familiar way… (Familiar, coz I‘ve been through the same, when I was a student in CCF a long time ago) Quoted from page 174-178, he talks about this peculiarity that French has.. Of all the stumbling blocks inherent in learning this language, the greatest for me is the principle that each noun has a correspondence sex that affects both its articles and its adjectives. Because it is a female and lays eggs, a chicken is masculine. Vagina is masculine as well, while the word masculinity is feminine. Forced by the grammar to take a stand one way or the other, hermaphrodite is male and indecisiveness female. (Me laughing #1) I spent months searching for some secret code before I realized that common sense has nothing to do with it. (Me laughing #2 Alkisah gw membaca bagian ini di suatu warung di pinggir jalan, lagi nunggu diangkut.. Huhuhu emang gw cewe apaan? Dijemput booow) Hysteria, psychosis, torture, depression: I was told that if something is unpleasant, it’s probably feminine. This encourage me, but the theory was blown by such masculine nouns as murder, toothache, and Rollerblade (Me laughing #3). I have no problem learning the word themselves, it’s the sexes that trip me up and refuse to stick. …… I just can’t manage to keep my stories straight. Hoping I might learn through repetition. I tried using gender in my everyday English. “Hi, Guys” I’d say, opening a new box of paper clips, or “Hey, Hugh, have you seen my belt? I can’t find her anywhere” (Me laughing #4) … Nothing in France is free from the sexual assignment. I was leafing through the dictionary, trying to complete a homework assignment, when I noticed the French had prescribed genders for the various land masses and natural wonders we Americans had always thought of as sexless, Niagara Falls is feminine and, against all reason, the Grand Canyon is masculine. (Me laughing #5) Georgia and Florida are female, but Montana and Utah are Male. New England is a she, while the vast area we call the Midwest is just one big guy. I wonder whose job it was to assign these sexes in the first place. Did he do his work right there in the sanitarium, or did they rent him a little office where he could get away from all the noise? (Me laughing #6) My confidence hit a new low when my friend Adeline told me that French children often make mistakes, but never with the sex of their nouns. (Me laughing #7) “It’s just something we grow up with” she said. “We hear the gender once, and then think of it as part of the word.There’s nothing to it” After you read this, you would likely do one of the following: - cancel your registration in CCF or whichever French lesson in your town - do a full research on this matter (Masak sihhhhh ga ada aturannya??? dikau akan berpikir :P) - read the book (recommended) - do nothing - think of this as another rubbish blog post (How could you! Cuih puih!)